You might be thinking, “Why would I want to in the first place!?”
Oh, but we do. Most of the time we don’t even know it. It’s a silent pull into a world of chaos and turmoil. And it’s usually with those closest to us.
Demons are tricky. First off, they’re elusive. They can’t be firmly identified. They come and go. And when they aren’t your own, they are that more ambiguous.
Here’s the main reason why: they aren’t real.
In our own heads they are real. Someone else’s demons are real to them…in their own head too.
Usually a “demon” is a suppressed or repressed emotion. It can have one or more triggers. It stems from unresolved fear/ anger/ despair/ worry/ blame/ revenge, any negative emotion really that wasn’t fully processed at the time of the experience. And we’ve all got a lot of those! 😊
The problem is this: if you choose to support someone and they aren’t willing to deal with their demons, they’ll bring you down too. They can’t help it. Their fear/ worry/ blame/ anger, etc… will turn you into a warrior of their unowned illusory experience and it will eat you from the inside out as well.
Sounds harsh, I know.
But there’s a way out of this harsh reality…and you still get to love and support those you’re closest to.
First, you must get a feel for what it takes to face your own demons. You’ll quickly realize that in most instances, any past unresolved experience usually gets way blown out of proportion in our own mentation. When identified for what it really is (a fabrication of our mind), the “demon” can be minimized. When strategized, Goliath becomes beatable.
Here’s the strategy if you can identify a potential demon: Realize it for what it is. A fabrication of your mind that’s caused a story to perpetuate. Ask yourself, “Has this story really served me in any way?” The only positive answer you may get is the illusion that it feeds your ego through a victimized, poor me orientation where it garners attention it craves. And that’s just not a very healthy way to go about relationships. Other people get tired eventually of being around victims. Don’t be that person.
So, does the story really serve you? If not, how can you go about changing the story to finding the hidden gem, the blessing, the gift that any horrific experience you may have gone through, gave you. I know this is difficult to swallow. I won’t pretend it’s easy to read these words and “just do it.” You’ve got to really digest this. BUT, what I do know, is that it’s your only way out. We all on some level ignore our demons, usually with distraction and escapism. Wonder why social media is such a hook? It’s another illusion that is lived more comfortably through a screen rather than facing what we know we really need to be facing. You’ve got to face your demons, and NO ONE else can do it for you. Ask for guidance from a higher power in seeing the gift. Go be in nature. Where is your safe space, your sacred space, your place you can get grounded and centered and set out to squash what’s eating you from the inside out?
IF your “demon” cannot be identified, then find a space and time where you can be alone and simply allow the negative emotion to rise up within you. DO NOT ALLOW your mind to dive down the rabbit hole of finding more reasons to get upset or angry, just stay with the FEELING, allow the crazy thoughts to drift in and out, but don’t get anchored to the thoughts. Instead, ALLOW the feeling to burn off. A negative emotion will not hurt you. In allowing it to surface and “burn off” by just staying in the moment you will allow the unknown cause of the emotion to dissipate as well. You’ll feel lighter, you’ll breathe easier. You’ll have conquered an invisible demon. For more help and guidance with this, here is an excellent resource.
You can see why you can’t fight someone else’s demons. When you can work through your own, you can help others by supporting them in fighting their own demons…and you’ll have the experience to walk them through the process.
Most importantly though, you’ll also be able to more quickly identify others who are unable to conquer their demons…and if they’re a constant draw of victim mentality needing endless help and attention, you’ll know how to not allow yourself to get sucked into their illusion. Instead, you can support them and protect yourself as well.
You’ve got this.